Marissa Pivoda, on what SPIES means to her

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“They reminded me that i have purpose, that i have meaning and that although things were hard right now, things would will get brighter and that they will continue to be there for me as long as i needed.”

Hey, my name's Marissa, but i am also known as Roo. I'm your average stranger, i am your average young adult, i am your server at a restaurant you just had dinner at, i am a starving arts major, i am a Me. I could describe to you all of the things that make up who i am but i don't want to lose your interest. finding who you are in this world today has been a struggle on my end of the table, i haven't had everything handed to me, nor did i grow up with that type of luxury, but i do know i was blessed. i have learned a lot growing up, and that sounds cliche because i am just shy of 20 how could i know so much in such a short time. my explanation is"Pain". Pain hurts, pain makes you feel in ways you have never imagined. i'm not talking about scraping your knee at the park or breaking your ankle while playing soccer. i'm talking about internal pain. pain that no one else can see, the pain you let out at 3 in the morning when no one can hear your muffled screams into your pillow. the pain you feel when your father doesn't call on your birthday and you don't understand what you did wrong, the pain you feel when you lose your mother, your grandparent, a brother, a friend, and you're trying to make sense of it all. but the truth is none of it makes sense and the hurt just doesn't go away, it stays with you, and although you wake up force that smile get dressed and make your way out of the house into the world the next morning, you wish and you hope that someone see's that the smile isn't real and the pain is seeping through the cracks of your imperfections, your beautiful imperfections, you just want that stranger to say "hey are you okay?" "what's wrong", you just want to feel the sunshine on your face and get comfort from it instead of darkness. And as your struggling through each day, you want to know if there is any one else in the world who knows and feels what i do, cause goddamn right now you feel so alone. but you're not, you're never alone. Spies clothing has helped me personally in ways that i could never repay, how ? may you ask?, not a day went by that they didn't post a positive boost of encouragement, letting me know that although i am fighting i never have to fight it alone, and although i didn't tell them my life story i felt them picking me up slowly but surely, they were helping me without even knowing it. They reminded me that i have purpose, that i have meaning and that although things were hard right now, things would will get brighter and that they will continue to be there for me as long as i needed. Not everyone had a support system, and that's what Spies is here for, Spies is here to lift you up when your pain is too heavy and everything is a mess, they are here for you and they always will be. thank you spies for being the shoulder i didn't have.

Marissa Pane

New York