You’re so much more than a body. You’re more than your words and actions.
You are a compilation of everything you touch, see, feel and listen to.
I’ve made it a point to start surrounding myself with positivity, love and people who bring out the best in me. You’d be surprised at how hard this is to do when you live in a place like New York City.
I’m surrounded by so much filth, so much negativity, demoralizing advertisements and truly every type of action that brings about self-hatred.
I’m not in any way saying I’m better than the people that push past me on the streets of New York, hell no. I will be the first one to step on the back of someone’s feet if they are too busy on their phone than to walk straight on the path in front of them. (C’mon people, you seriously need to put the technology down and just fucking walk to where you’re going!) However, what I am saying is by living in this type of society, we are subjecting ourselves to become more like the people and things we see.
It’s hard to see it happening to you when you live the same life every single day. Go on a weekend vacation to somewhere other than your daily routine to see just how much impact your surroundings impact you.
I’m from ‘upstate’ according to people who were born and raised in NYC, and when I go home for the weekend my city attitude is most definitely prominent. I’m furiously in a hurry regardless of if I have anywhere to be or not. Every person who attempts to engage with me in small talk is one sentence away from being backhanded and no matter who the person may be, I always feel like they are a waste of space and in my way.
That’s what New York City does to me!
It turns me into a monster that I can’t break free from, even when I’m in a small town surrounded by an environment which once was my home.
There is nothing that most of us can do in regards to where we live (unless you have the luxury of having a job that relocates you or if you don’t have family here keeping you tied down). What you can control is what you voluntarily consume.
Pay more attention to the music you are listening to and the books you are reading. Reduce the endless scrolling on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Filter the content that you feed yourself online and limit your time for nonsense. Seriously, WHO CARES what the Kardashians are up to!? Do you really think that their life in any way, shape, or form is going to impact you? All it’s doing is wasting minutes, hours, or days of your life every time you fall into a swipe-sphere on their social media accounts.
Stop scrolling, stop caring about THEIR lives, start living YOUR life.
Now, I’m a weird girl to begin with. I grew up listening to, well no, I spent my teenage years OBSESSED with heavy metal and anything outrageously out of the norm. My depression made my cling to the dark songs that screamed about killing myself and how no god existed. My anxiety made me want to disappear and for some reason, my answer to disappearing was to be as weird as I possibly could. Anyone remember ‘Scene Kids’.... yeah, I was one of those. *Insert everyone on the internet eye rolling*
Enter present day, my love for metal and heavy screaming music remains. The only difference is now I listen to bands who got past their depression and were singing about how there’s a light at the end of the metaphorical tunnel (well sometimes).
I’ve tried to phase out or, at least, reduce how much I listen to it because even though I LOVE the music, I can sense myself becoming more aggressive when it’s constantly in my ears.
The same goes for my love of Tyler the Creator. Oh, how I love myself some Tyler the Creator. If you’re not familiar with him or his lyrics, here are a few of my favorites:
“Rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome”
“You niggas rap about fucking bitches and getting head. Instead, I rap about fucking bitches and getting head. While you niggas stacking bread, I could stack a couple dead bodies. Making red look less of a color, more of a hobby.”
“I’m fucked in the head, I lost my mind with my virginity. Oh, that’s a triple three 6, isn’t he a devil worshipper? Cause I’m too fucking ignorant to do some research.”
Clearly…. it’s the FARTHEST thing from self-love and positivity that someone could voluntarily consume. But like I said, I’m fucking weird.
I LOVE his lyrics. It’s so hard for me to give up his music but I do my best to cleanse myself of music like this for the most part.
After I made the conscious effort to remove the negativity and mental pollution I consume every day I’ve been able to live a more creative and fulfilling life.
Seriously, all it took was some self-reflection!
I saw how much garbage was intoxicating my life, cleared it out, and now I’m able to focus on self-love along with personal development.
It’s an amazing feeling to be creatively free and finally, wake up from this nightmare where we all conform to one giant miserable society.
We could all use a highly functioning society and that’s not going to happen if we keep living in this blind reality.