Why It's Important To Be Transparent About Your Mental Health
It’s no surprise that I haven’t been very active on the blog lately. Hell, I haven’t written any new content on the blog, released a podcast episode, sent an email, or written a Facebook post in months. I’ve attempted to recycle old or unused content, but it doesn’t feel right. I’ve been transparent about my mental health issues since day one, so it shouldn’t be any different now. This is what has been going on...
For some reason, my body has been failing me. My anxiety has become uncontrollably heightened to a point where I can’t even drink caffeinated tea without trembling hands and a racing heart. My depression has been hitting me hard since mid-September and for the first time in four years suicide has entered my mind. I’ve been exhausted, falling asleep behind the wheel countless times every week regardless of how early I go to bed or how many naps I take during the day. I’ve lost my motivation for this brand, for taking on clients, for creating content, for giving a crap about anything that has to do with business.
I’ve thought about giving up, surrendering the domain name, closing my social media accounts, and packing up on all things SPIES. This has been on my mind for months and with all my mental health issues coming to a head right now, this thought has truly become top of mind. I’m constantly faced with self-doubt. I mean, who the hell am I to help people out of their darkness so they can turn their pain into their purpose and change the world? I can’t even summon the strength to log into my Facebook group and check on the members once a day! How can I tell people that they can turn their pain into their purpose if I still find myself becoming immersed in the pain once again? How can I help others when I feel so helpless right now?
The answer is that I don’t know. I have no idea, honestly. All I do know is that I can not give up completely on this brand, on my followers, on YOU.
All I ask of you is that you bare with me through the lulls of this brand. Through the silence, through the moments of personal healing and restoration that I must take in order to fully give my all to you. There will be new content, new lessons, and new stories but I will not promise a consistent appearance. I can not commit to fully showing up every day, every week, or every month. At least not now.
Until next time,